Racing Tornadoes

I pretty much had the coolest day ever, per the title of my blog, you may have guessed what took place. Oh, but it was so much cooler than the title could ever let on. So...I'm in Oklahoma, Dewey Oklahoma to be precise. I am out here with some friends that are shooting a movie on a ranch. This ranch is huge. It consists of hundreds of acres of prairie, a few thousand cattle and an old western town that has been built for he enjoyment of the owner. This morning as we were about to begin shooting, the sky went from being clear to turning pretty dark...we decided we would still try to shoot what we could- we got out 3 horses to use for the filming and shot a few scenes. The moment we finished shooting a torential downpour started, no sooner had that started then we got news that two tornadoes had touched down one town away from us. In the midst of that exciting news, the thunder and lightning also chimed in. As everyone was running around putting camera equipment away or going for cover...we still had 3 horses to deal with. Horses don't like bad weather, they spook easy and can be difficult or dangerous to ride. We still had to ride them two miles back to the stables the were staying in. Considering how close the tornadoes were, we didn't know weather to book it to the stables or stay close to a big building and just tie the horses up outside...as you can guess...we opted to race the horses back to the stables, have someone follow us in a car and pick us up to bring us back to the safe zone. Lloyd, me and my friend Paul hopped on the horses, and ran them as fast as we could through sheets of rain, loud thunder and lots of lightning back to their stables. It was such an adrenaline rush!!! I think this may top the list as one of the coolest things I've ever done. It was straight out of a movie:)

My brother, Iraq...

This is something my brother wrote and sent to me a few weeks ago. I have been wanting to post it..it's so good. He is in Bahrain, Iraq. I don't know when he will be coming home, but I am so proud of him:) If you read this, pray for him...thanks:)

I lay asleep in a peaceful paradise, and within an instant I am pulled from that state of relaxation and thrown into reality with those feared words .."Next Watch Bitch." I glance at my watch hoping there is a mistake, 0300 right on time. Stumbling out of my rack as if I where in a drunken state I wonder why I volunteered for this kind of a job. While most guys my age are still out bar hopping, I am getting ready for the long day ahead of me. I finish lacing up my boots and head to the mess deck for a quick cup of Pointless coffee, caffeine no longer affects me. I suppose it's the flavor I am addicted to. I scramble up to the pilot house and begin my work.
As the distant clouds begin to glow the stars slowly fade, God once again reminds me of his glory on the 0400 to 0800. Its not long before the turquoise water fills with DHOWS (the fishing vessels of local countries) and these inexperienced mariners begin their fishing.What makes these people so special, to be given all this attention of the United States ? It doesn't take long for the answer to sail by. A DHOW with 5 men on deck glides through the water. All giving us thankful smiles and their signature wave with both hands in the air, I then realize that these helpless people depend on the coalition forces for their survival. It isn't just a fight against terrorism, but it's a fight for humanity. This is operation Iraqi/ Enduring Freedom.

Maine...The Land of Remembered Vacations...

Ok, so again, old post. However, I still feel this way. The irony of this whole post and Maine, is that shortly after I started pining to be in this amazing state, and plotting my move. My brother Andrew (in Iraq at the time) lets me know he will be stationed there when he returns from Iraq. He is there now and has been for about 1 year or so. I think it's kind of funny, the timing of it:) I'm still a little jealous.

I want to move to Maine. This thought struck me as I was driving around the other day, and a car with a Maine license plate pulled in front of me. As soon as I saw it, I thought "Who lives in Maine?" I mean, it's probably one of the least thought about states right? So un-thought of, I wonder, is it still a state? Anyways, I decided I would follow them because I thought, to have come from Maine, they have to be pretty cool and I wanted to talk to them...well, they ended up going exactly where I was going anyways. Sad story, once we got there, there was no parking, so we both went our separate ways:( Here are some facts about "The Pine Tree State," possibly my future home:)


Eastport is the most eastern city in the United States. The city is considered the first place in the United States to receive the rays of the morning sun.

In Wilton there's a cannery that imports and cans only dandelion greens.

Maine is the only state in the United States whose name has one syllable.

Maine is the only state that shares its border with only one other state.

Bath is known as the City of Ships.

Joshua L. Chamberlain born in Brewer received the only battlefield promotion to General during the Civil War. He was also the last Civil War soldier to die of wounds incurred in the War.

The White Mountain National Forest covers nearly 800,000 acres, the forest covers a landscape ranging from hardwood forests to the largest alpine area east of the Rocky Mountains

Aroostook County at 6,453 square miles covers an area greater than the combined size of Connecticut and Rhode Island.

Approximately 40 millions pounds (nearly 90 percent) of the nation's lobster supply is caught off the coast of Maine.

Maine produces 99% of all the blueberries in the country making it the single largest producer of blueberries in the United States.

Maine's earliest inhabitants were descendants of Ice Age hunters.

Portland was first temporarily selected as the state capital. In 1832 the capital was moved to the centrally located site of Augusta.

In 1641 America's first chartered city was York.

Acadia National Park is the second most visited national park in the United States.

West Quoddy Head is the most easterly point in the United States.

Augusta is the most eastern capital city in the United States.

Mount Katahdin is the state's highest point at 5,268 feet above sea level.

Togus was the first Veteran's Hospital in the United States. The facility was founded in 1866.

An unsuccessful attempt at establishing a permanent English settlement in the New World was at the location now known as Popham Beach. Sir George Popham led the expedition in 1607.

90% of the country's toothpick supply is produced in Maine.

Portland is the birthplace of poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

Senator Margaret Chase Smith stood up in the senate and gave the famous Declaration of Conscious speech, speaking out against the McCarthy era. Senator Smith was the first female presidential candidate.

Author Steven King is a resident of Bangor.

Former President George Bush has a summer home in Kennebunkport.

Freeport is the home to the L.L. Bean Company.

The skating scene in the movie "The Preacher's Wife" was filmed in Deering Oaks Park in Portland.

The chickadee is the official state bird.

Maine lies farther northeast than any other state.

Maine's nickname as the Pine Tree State comes from the pines that once dotted the state's forests.

With a total area of 33,215 square miles the state covers nearly as many square miles as the other five New England states combined.

The state flower is the white pine cone and tassel.

The coastline boasts so many deep harbors it is thought all the navies in the world could anchor in them.

Maine lobsters have won international fame for their flavor and contribution to the culinary world.

The Penobscot Marine Museum in Searsport houses numerous historic buildings and marine memorabilia.

Fort Knox erected in 1844 is a state historic site originally built to protect the Penobscot River Valley from British naval attack. The fort was constructed from granite from nearby Mount Waldo.

Numerous lighthouses dot the Main coast including Fort Point Lighthouse at Fort Point State Park in Stockton Springs and Grindle Point Lighthouse on Isleboro.

The Sailor's Memorial Museum in Isleboro features displays depicting life at sea.

Located in Thorndike Village, the Bryant Stove Works and Museum displays an eclectic collection of antique cast iron stoves, parlor heaters, roadsters and touring cars. In addition, the museum features antique layer pianos, pipe organs and music boxes, calliopes, nickelodeons, and hurdy-gurdys.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was considered the most influential poet of his day. The writer was born in Portland, on February 2, 1807. His most popular works include "The Courtship of Miles Standish", "Evangeline" and "Hiawatha".

The nation's first sawmill was established near York in 1623.

York became the nation's first incorporated city in 1642.

The first ship build by English colonists in Americas was launched on the Kennebec River in 1607.

The first naval battle of the Revolutionary War was fought off Machias in 1775.

Maine was admitted to the Union as the 23rd state on March 15, 1820.

Maine's blueberry crop is the largest in the nation.

The honeybee is the official state insect.

Maine contains 542,629 acres of state and national parks.

Edmund S. Muskie became the first Democratic United States senator ever elected by popular vote in Maine. He was also elected governor for two terms. He was born in Rumford.

Eastport is the only United States owned principality that has been under rule by a foreign government. It was held from 1814 to 1818 by British troops under King George following the conclusion of the War of 1812.

Maine's government entities are comprised of 16 counties with 22 cities, 435 towns, 33 plantations, 424 unorganized townships and 3 Indian reservations.

I miss horses, like I miss breathing.

The subject line says it all.

Me and Benson:) Alpine, (San Diego, Ca).

I got a Mac:)

Sooo- I got a Mac. I have already posted a bulletin about this- but news of this magnitude deserves a blog spot as well. It's a black Macbook- with all the sweet features like photobooth, garage band, iphoto...etc. With this new addition to my life, I should have no excuse to not keep in touch with people on a regular basis- no more unread email, no more missed payments or late bills...well, it's a nice computer, not a magic computer:) Anyways- yay for me!!

Ok, so I have nothing better to do right now before bed...

How well do you know me?? For instance did you know.....

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. "Groom/Stable hand"Working on a horse ranch in Alpine, San Diego county California. There were 50+ horses, and never a dull moment! I have been bit, kicked, stepped on fallen off, dragged and broken three toes at this job. I loved it though:)
2. Customer Care Rep for Veterinary Pet Insurance in Brea California
3. Vet Tech for Banfield Pet Hospital in Pasadena California
4. Sales, Customer Service Rep, Cashier, Shipping/Recieving, Visual merchandiser for REI (recreational equipment incorporated) I worked at the San Dimas, Arcadia, and Encinitas stores in California, then the REI in Anchorage Alaska.

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. My Best Friends Wedding
2. The Lion King
3. The Black Stallion
4. Pride and Prejudice

Four places I have lived:
1. Pasadena, Ca
2. San Diego, Ca
3. Anchorage, Ak
4. Kansas City, Mo

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Lost
2. Friends
3. I Love Lucy
4. The Cosby Show

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. All over British Columbia and the Northern Territories, Canada
2. Cape May, New Jersey
3. Maui, Hawaii
4. Prudhoe Bay, the arctic ocean, Alaska

Four websites I visit daily:
1. My yahoo email
2. My myspace page
3. Msn
4. Apple.com:)

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Fettuccini Alfredo...mmm
2. Pizza from Papa Jhons
3. Soft Tostada (mexican food) from El Loco in Los Angeles
4. Alligator...mmm, good stuff

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. On horseback in the mountains somewhere...or open plain
2. Laguna Beach, watching the sun set, and walking along the water...ooh, i love it!!
3. In Alaska, doing some crazy thing, like taking a 12 ft canoe down a 3ft deep creek, and capsizing multiple times!! Haha...good times sam:)
4. In a plane, flying somewhere...

Running Lately

Ok, so again, this is an old post, and really not much of anything. But, it does remind me, I sure used to run alot, and I miss it. And if nothing else, this is a little reminder that I need to start again:)

I have been running alot lately. It is hard. I run alot. I am sore. The morning after a long run, I feel like I have a bit of a hangover. Whats that about? Anyways. I can feel my muscles, and picture the positive results. Yay for running.

So, this is not a picture of me running, but rather riding. Cycling is one of my passions, and I took this picture while riding to Starbucks. A total ride of 24 miles:)

The Inevitable...

Change is inevitable...we face change every single day, wheather it's blatantantly recognizable or subconcious. Usually change for me is something I welcome with open arms. I like new experiences, and even though transition can be difficult with change...I accept the challenge. I like to be stretched...I like knowing that my changing or things around me changing are part of a greater plan the Lord has for my life, even though I can't see the big picture.

That having been said, today I am struck with a mournful change. My sister, and youngest sibling left for USCG bootcamp in Cape May, New Jersey. Something I am extremely proud of her for, and know is a calling the Lord has on her life. However, I realize, she is the last of us kids to leave home, and venture out to start her own life. The whole dynamic of our family has shifted on this day. My parents now have an empty house, and going home to visit, where I could once be welcomed by at least one sibling that still remained, is no longer a reality. We all have totally seperate lives, which is amazing, because we are all still so close and following the Lord and being blessed by him...yet at the same time...it's just so wierd to think that our childhood is truly over. And the things that defined that chapter of my life, no longer exist. I guess, the way I see it, is that because Aimee was still at home, when I would be visiting, it still felt like old times...when we all lived there. Like I was hanging on to my younger years through her. It was compforting I supose.

Those days are gone. It's a bitter sweet experience. I can't believe we are all in such different places, and "grown up". No more summer family vacations, no more sitting together every night and eating dinner together, no more getting up early for saturday morning cartoons, no more unavoidable daily chores, or petty bickering or family games or movie nights...or the excitment of holiday preperation...christmas songs all day every day from Thanksgiving til christmas!! Holiday baking and shopping, gift giving and christmas light viewing! These are a thing of the past. For me some of this stuff, like saturday morning cartoons, have been long gone years and years ago. For some reason, none of this was such a reality, as today.

There has been a major shift, and things will never be the same. It will always be wonderful to get together and visit. Those will be cherished times...invaluable as time goes on. Today is a day of goodbyes to the past, and to the compfort and safety of what I recognized as "home" and "family". So, it is with a bittersweet attitude, that I bid my farewell. Thank goodness that memories last a lifetime:)

City of Angels?

(Old post from myspace that I decided to import to this current blog)

I just read a bulletin someone posted about realizing Los Angeles is not all it's cracked up to be...I totally agree. It totally reminded me of one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands...Death Cab for Cutie. So, here I will copy and paste, rather than put deep thought into this entry....enjoy!!

Why You'd Want to Live Here; By DCFC

"I'm in los angeles today... garbage cans comprise the medians of freeways always creaping even when the population's sleeping.

And i can't see why you'd want to live here.

I'm in los angeles today... asked a gas station employee if he ever had trouble breathing and he said "it varies from season to season, kid."

It's where our best are on display... motion picture actors' houses maps are never ever current so save your film and $15.

And i can't see why you'd want to live here.
Billboards reach past the tallest buildings,
"we are not perfect but we sure try."
As UV rays "degradate" our youth with time.

The vessel keeps pumping us through this entropic place in the belly of the beast that is californ-i-a,
I drank from a faucet and i kept my receipts for when the weigh me on my way out (here nothing is free).
The greyhounds keep coming dumping locusts into the street until the gutters overflow and los angeles thinks, "i might explode someday soon."

It's a lovely summer's day and i can almost see a skyline through a thickening shroud of egos.
(is this the city of angeles or demons?)
Here the names are what remain... stars encapsulate the gold lame and they need constant cleaning for when the tourists begin salivating.

You can't swim in a town this shallow - you will most assuredly drown tomorrow. "



Ok, so that's maybe a little harsh. I mean I did grow up there, so there are things that I can appreciate as a so-cal girl. But it isn't the dream that half the world believes it to be. Trust me, if you never visit, you can continue to dream that it's this great place, and not have to be completely dissapointed once you make the coveted trip and reality bites you in the butt:)

Prayer

Lord...
Change me, refine me, mold me to be the woman you desire. Breathe upon the embers in my heart to ignite the fire that I know is beneath the surface. I want my life to be consumed by you, and nothing else. I dedicate my life to seeking after and knowing you more everyday. Amen:)

I have a triple tall, sugar free vanilla, extra whip mocha at the bar!!

Ok, soo, I started my new job today at Starbucks...and I.....LOVED IT!!! This company is awesome! There is definately alot to memorize, but it is soo worth it! The people I work with are amazing, my boss is a christian, and totally rocks...I am soo blessed to be here, and to be surrounded by all these amazing people, both at work, and at home...and Ihop:) I am a barista in training, and can't wait til I am able to make all those drinks in my sleep. Although, today alone I already learned how to make Frappuccino's both coffee based and creme based...oh, and iced drinks too! I have had some really great jobs, and this job will definately add a whole other category to my work experience:) I am truly blessed. Ooh, and fall is just around the corner...yay!! Oh, I am soo happy!! While I am rambling...our little stray (small dog we have that has no name that I found)...had puppies on friday 09/01. She had a little boy and girl...both soooooo adorable!! Mom, and pups are doing well...and have had lot's of visitors...and potential owners:) Life is definately good right now...and I could'nt ask for more:)

Equine Withdrawals

'There's nothing so good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse.' - Ronald Reagan

I am having horse withdrawals. I miss waking up early and being greeted by soft nickers. I miss seeing their silhouttes, as they wait patiently for breakfast. I miss the loud sound of thunder as calvin (Belgian), big grace (Clydsdale), and peter (clydsdale x) would race me up the hill to be fed. I miss Brie's sweet gaze, I miss Ace leaning his head on my shoulder...ouch! I miss Branco dumping over the wheelbarrow full of manur, that I just broke a sweat picking up! And last, but not least...I miss smart ass Benson, kicking me in the back of my leg while being walked...oh, and biting me, and throwing me off...little brat!

This list could go on forever...I havn't nearly named them all:( Oh, and of course, Jonas...the sweetest most loyal horse you'll ever meet:)

'If God had intended man to walk, he would have given him four legs. Instead, he gave him two - one to put on either side of a horse. '
- Montana Rancher

Eschatology what??

I am sure that everyone has heard the saying "you learn something new everyday." Well, never in my life has this phrase applied so perfectly, as now. Only this time the "something new" is so deep, and so life changing, that it makes all other previous things learned seem mundane.

I just joined a group that studies Eschatology, the study of the end times. At first I was extremely against studying something that I thought would put fear into my life. I figured it just wasn't a subject that I wanted to spend time on, considering we are in the last days...just knowing is obvious enough, right? Most definately not. Though I only spent two hours so far, studying this topic, I am intrigued. It's like I have tasted something so indescribably good, that I can't wait to taste more. It is confusing, and thought provoking, sobering and exciting.

In the few hours since the class, my mind is reeling. I have been faced more than ever before, with how much I lack in Jesus. Though it sounds discouraging, my heart has never felt more alive! I want to fully engage my heart and mind and spirit. I want revelation.

Even in my weekness, He still loves me. God is awesome:)

Deployment

So, I just found out a few days ago that my brother, Andrew, is being deployed to Bahrain, Iraq. He leaves December 15th. I guess I'm not really sure what to do with this news. I am feeling a whole range of emotion, from fear and sadness to excitment and pride. Though I definately feel the fear and sadness a whole lot stronger. Anyways, it's out of my control...all I can do is pray:| Whoever reads this blog, please, do the same...keep my brother in your prayers.

Thanks

The show me state

Here I am in a new place once again. Obviously moving suits me or I wouldn't do it so much:) New people, new places, new experiences...what could be better?

I left early monday (08/14/06) for my new life in Kansas City, Missouri. I drove my awesome Jeep, loaded down with everythig I own, to head to a place I pretty much know nothing about. The drive was amazing...except for Nevada...well, actually, I liked the Vegas part..hehe. Utah and Colorado were by far my favorite parts, especially getting to see Vail and Breckenridge...amazing!! I drove through places that had some of the best mountain biking terrain ever!! I soo wanted to stop and ride, but my goal was to get here:) I finally arrived on Wednesday afternoon, my house is suuper awesome, and I couldn't ask for better roomates:)

I absolutely love the area I live in, it's beautiful. I can't wait to get out and hike, bike or do any sort of outdoor acivity! The house I live is one story, but with a basement that is furnished like a sitting room, and a loft, which is my room. So, to me it's kinda like a three story house. There are three other bedrooms in addition. My room looks out over the backyard, which backs up to a few acres of forest, love the view!!

So, I have officially been here for two days, and can't wait to see what is in store for me...whatever it is, i know it will be great...as long as my focus remains on the Lord, and His plan for my life...I couldn't be in a better spot.

My Yukon

So, almost two months ago now, I came to the tough decision that I had to find a home for my dog:( This has been a really tough time for me...though on the outside, I'm sure no one knows it. I just thought I'd share some things from our time together:)

I rescued Yukon from the pound about seven years ago. I had just lost my first dog, (keesha) to kidney failure and was grieving that loss. I couldn't imagine coming home everyday to an empty yard, or look at the empty spot beside my bed. I decided to go down to the shelter just to look around. When I got there, I saw Yukon. She was in a cage with 6 other dogs, she was laying on the ground, barely able to move. All the other dogs were jumping on her, eager for attention from anyone walking by. Her eyes were dull, and she was emaciated. I remember thinking, "this dog is dieing...and no one is doing anything about it??" My heart went out to her, and I knew I couldn't leave without her. I filled out all the paperwork, and was told to come back the next day to pick her up.

The next day I came to pick Yukon up, she was so weak she could barely walk, and on top of being sick, she had just endured a spay. We carried her to the car, and an attendent there informed us that if she were to die, we were to bring back the body and they would issue me a credit towards another dog. That made my stomach turn. We got Yukon home, and she just laid in her bed, she wouldnt eat or drink. We took her to the emergency room as she had continuously gotten weaker with each passing day. After some fluid therapy and a bit of medication we took her home. For the next few weeks, I fed her gerber baby food through a syringe, and some pedialite every two hours. As time went on, she gained strenght. I woke up one morning to Yukon digging holes in the yard and tearing up all her toys, thats when I knew she'd be ok:)

Since that lovely morning when I awoke to her distruction...she has not changed. She has been a true terror...and a delight all at the same time. I have never dealt with a more stubborn, obnoxious, quirky, off the wall energy dog in all my life! I have also never laughed so much, and had soo much fun. She is really the reason that I became so active in the outdoors. We hiked, biked, camped and best of all, kayaked together...she was a super kayaking companion. She was a great road trip companion, and moving companion. She steered me and my brother clear of mountain lions many a time...and has had to be our eyes in the dark when we were stupid enough to forget flashlights on a long hike. I have lots of pictures and great memories of us together:) I miss her dearly, and still can't believe I will never get to experience all those things with her again:( I know reality will eventually set in. But for now, it trickles in here and there, followed by a wave of sorrow, loss and dissapointment with myself. Dissapointment for not being her forever home and not being the one that could always provide the life she needed and deserved.

She has found a home now...a home with a loving family....and kid's to play with!I'm sure she is on cloud 9!! She deserves the best, and she finally has it:) I owe her alot...she will always be in my heart and on my mind...My Yukon.

Surrender

I try so hard to control things in my life that, in reality, I have no control over. I put so much thought into what I can say, or things I can do to make life go the way I want it...or to fix the things/relationships I have broken. In the end, I wind up being stressed, and frustrated at the way things turn out. I feel like a fish swimming upstream, trying with all my might to get to that place of satisfaction. I think, "man, if I could just make this situation go right, then everything would be perfect." However, no matter how hard I try, I fail.

This is when I realize I need to surrender...I need to release control, and let the Lord take care of me. He has a plan, and it does not include me taking the drivers wheel. It means sitting in the passangers seat, and trusting that the wild ride ahead of me, no matter how scarry...has a happy ending.

I know this is what I am supposed to do...but knowing is alot easier than doing. Reguardless, I will choose to trust Him. I will expect Him to work in my life, rather than wonder if He is.

God's promise to me: "I promise you that no matter what, I have you, and you will be ok."

My motto for this week: "Let go and let God."

War

I recieved an email today...it showed a picture of a soldier that had lost a hand, a leg and any eye while trying to disarm a bomb in Iraq. This email is not out of the ordinary, it is not the first article, nor will it be the last I recieve about the reality and face of war. However, today it struck a different chord in my heart.
Often most of us go through our lives, day in day out, with a set routine. We wake up, eat, go to work, come home, eat...maybe, if were feeling guilty..go to the gym...or choose to ignore it for just one more day and just work out the remote instead. Go to bed...sleep...wake up, and start all over again. Exciting huh! I can attest to this routine, and sometimes just to stir things up, i even consider opening my bible or maybe spending some time in prayer. But, as i'm too "tired" to complicate my night with God...I shove that idea into the deepest corner of my mind and decide I will definatly dedicate time tomorrow. I work so hard on being honest with those around me...yet I lie to myself.
I recently started reading a book by John Eldridge called "Waking the Dead," The glory of a heart fully alive. In the two chapters I have read, there has been a stirring of my heart to face the reality that surrounds me, and to stop pretending or hiding from the truth and the world that surrounds me. In the book Eldridge talks about
"the heart being the center of human life..." and the fact that somehow, we have lost this truth.
***unfinished***will continue later***************************

Busy

I run around every day trying to comlete my various tasks in the few hours provided me. Though I squeeze in as much as possible and get as much done as I can, at the end of the day- as I finally crawl into bed I use whatever energy I have left to whisper a prayer and doze off. In the midst of all my busy- ness, I seem to "forget" to open up the Bible, even if just for a moment, to read an encouraging word. I blame it on my lack of time- it coudn't possibly be that I am placing other importances if front of studying the word.
Finally the moment comes when I have free time. A time to catch up on whats needed. The first thing I think of is opening up my bible and spending time with my father. However, it seems to be the last thing I do. Isn't it funny how I am presented with the oportunity to study and pray, yet all I can think of is "what else can i get done first?" Who can I call- I suddenly feel like I need to pick up my phone and call a friend, "who can I hang out with today, where can we go." I now feel like I don't have enough to fill my day- now I WANt to be busy.
I am only cheating myself when I conveniently choose to be too busy to spend time with the Lord. At what point do I fall to my knees and cry out to the Lord for the replenishment I need. A friend encouraged me the other day with this verse; "draw near to God, and He will draw near to you..." How quickly I forget the importance of slowing down every day, no matter what- and spending time with my creator. I am so greatful that He is a loving, forgiving father- He is willing to hel p us through our weaknesses, and still love us through it all.

Passion

Passion: "the spiritual life on caffeine," (relevant magazine march/april). I have decided that it is this small, but powerful seven letter word that is missing from my life...not only am i lacking this in my everyday life, but even more importantly in my walk with the Lord. The fire that once consumed my spirit has all but gone out. I try to fuel the few embers that still remain, but it seems like a lost cause.
"Church-ianity" (or christian culture) is when we get bored with God, and our life with Him is no longer a dynamic and living but only a passed-down thing, like a dirty rag or cryptic relic. It's our limited vision. It's our busyness with the unessential." How do I become this? Bored with God? I know all that is true, I have story upon story to testify the things He has done in my life, and every reason to show zeal for that. At what point do i become lax and lose that spiritual high?
The only reason I am here today is because of Jesus in my life- yet there are days that go by where I fail to acknowledge His existance. Why is it such a struggle? A struggle to spend time with my father, the only one who loves me without fail so unconditionally. All i can do is ask forgiveness and move forward, I will not dwell in my shortcomings or setbacks but rather use them as stepping stones to become the woman God has called me to be. Amen!

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11