The Inevitable...

Change is inevitable...we face change every single day, wheather it's blatantantly recognizable or subconcious. Usually change for me is something I welcome with open arms. I like new experiences, and even though transition can be difficult with change...I accept the challenge. I like to be stretched...I like knowing that my changing or things around me changing are part of a greater plan the Lord has for my life, even though I can't see the big picture.

That having been said, today I am struck with a mournful change. My sister, and youngest sibling left for USCG bootcamp in Cape May, New Jersey. Something I am extremely proud of her for, and know is a calling the Lord has on her life. However, I realize, she is the last of us kids to leave home, and venture out to start her own life. The whole dynamic of our family has shifted on this day. My parents now have an empty house, and going home to visit, where I could once be welcomed by at least one sibling that still remained, is no longer a reality. We all have totally seperate lives, which is amazing, because we are all still so close and following the Lord and being blessed by him...yet at the same time...it's just so wierd to think that our childhood is truly over. And the things that defined that chapter of my life, no longer exist. I guess, the way I see it, is that because Aimee was still at home, when I would be visiting, it still felt like old times...when we all lived there. Like I was hanging on to my younger years through her. It was compforting I supose.

Those days are gone. It's a bitter sweet experience. I can't believe we are all in such different places, and "grown up". No more summer family vacations, no more sitting together every night and eating dinner together, no more getting up early for saturday morning cartoons, no more unavoidable daily chores, or petty bickering or family games or movie nights...or the excitment of holiday preperation...christmas songs all day every day from Thanksgiving til christmas!! Holiday baking and shopping, gift giving and christmas light viewing! These are a thing of the past. For me some of this stuff, like saturday morning cartoons, have been long gone years and years ago. For some reason, none of this was such a reality, as today.

There has been a major shift, and things will never be the same. It will always be wonderful to get together and visit. Those will be cherished times...invaluable as time goes on. Today is a day of goodbyes to the past, and to the compfort and safety of what I recognized as "home" and "family". So, it is with a bittersweet attitude, that I bid my farewell. Thank goodness that memories last a lifetime:)

City of Angels?

(Old post from myspace that I decided to import to this current blog)

I just read a bulletin someone posted about realizing Los Angeles is not all it's cracked up to be...I totally agree. It totally reminded me of one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands...Death Cab for Cutie. So, here I will copy and paste, rather than put deep thought into this entry....enjoy!!

Why You'd Want to Live Here; By DCFC

"I'm in los angeles today... garbage cans comprise the medians of freeways always creaping even when the population's sleeping.

And i can't see why you'd want to live here.

I'm in los angeles today... asked a gas station employee if he ever had trouble breathing and he said "it varies from season to season, kid."

It's where our best are on display... motion picture actors' houses maps are never ever current so save your film and $15.

And i can't see why you'd want to live here.
Billboards reach past the tallest buildings,
"we are not perfect but we sure try."
As UV rays "degradate" our youth with time.

The vessel keeps pumping us through this entropic place in the belly of the beast that is californ-i-a,
I drank from a faucet and i kept my receipts for when the weigh me on my way out (here nothing is free).
The greyhounds keep coming dumping locusts into the street until the gutters overflow and los angeles thinks, "i might explode someday soon."

It's a lovely summer's day and i can almost see a skyline through a thickening shroud of egos.
(is this the city of angeles or demons?)
Here the names are what remain... stars encapsulate the gold lame and they need constant cleaning for when the tourists begin salivating.

You can't swim in a town this shallow - you will most assuredly drown tomorrow. "



Ok, so that's maybe a little harsh. I mean I did grow up there, so there are things that I can appreciate as a so-cal girl. But it isn't the dream that half the world believes it to be. Trust me, if you never visit, you can continue to dream that it's this great place, and not have to be completely dissapointed once you make the coveted trip and reality bites you in the butt:)

Prayer

Lord...
Change me, refine me, mold me to be the woman you desire. Breathe upon the embers in my heart to ignite the fire that I know is beneath the surface. I want my life to be consumed by you, and nothing else. I dedicate my life to seeking after and knowing you more everyday. Amen:)

I have a triple tall, sugar free vanilla, extra whip mocha at the bar!!

Ok, soo, I started my new job today at Starbucks...and I.....LOVED IT!!! This company is awesome! There is definately alot to memorize, but it is soo worth it! The people I work with are amazing, my boss is a christian, and totally rocks...I am soo blessed to be here, and to be surrounded by all these amazing people, both at work, and at home...and Ihop:) I am a barista in training, and can't wait til I am able to make all those drinks in my sleep. Although, today alone I already learned how to make Frappuccino's both coffee based and creme based...oh, and iced drinks too! I have had some really great jobs, and this job will definately add a whole other category to my work experience:) I am truly blessed. Ooh, and fall is just around the corner...yay!! Oh, I am soo happy!! While I am rambling...our little stray (small dog we have that has no name that I found)...had puppies on friday 09/01. She had a little boy and girl...both soooooo adorable!! Mom, and pups are doing well...and have had lot's of visitors...and potential owners:) Life is definately good right now...and I could'nt ask for more:)

Equine Withdrawals

'There's nothing so good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse.' - Ronald Reagan

I am having horse withdrawals. I miss waking up early and being greeted by soft nickers. I miss seeing their silhouttes, as they wait patiently for breakfast. I miss the loud sound of thunder as calvin (Belgian), big grace (Clydsdale), and peter (clydsdale x) would race me up the hill to be fed. I miss Brie's sweet gaze, I miss Ace leaning his head on my shoulder...ouch! I miss Branco dumping over the wheelbarrow full of manur, that I just broke a sweat picking up! And last, but not least...I miss smart ass Benson, kicking me in the back of my leg while being walked...oh, and biting me, and throwing me off...little brat!

This list could go on forever...I havn't nearly named them all:( Oh, and of course, Jonas...the sweetest most loyal horse you'll ever meet:)

'If God had intended man to walk, he would have given him four legs. Instead, he gave him two - one to put on either side of a horse. '
- Montana Rancher