The Road Less Traveled

Running...and other things.

2011-04-17T17:33:00.000-07:00

I have finally started working out again. It's been awhile since I've made a consistent effort into actually scheduling it into my day. I find that life, as wonderful as it is, is always going to be busy, and wether I am working one job, two jobs, or no jobs...there is ALWAYS an excuse to not make excersizing, or my health a priority.

Over the past few months, (since January to be exact) the Lord has really impressed upon my heart the need for balance. It is so easy for my life to get out of balance in all areas, that eventually, everything gives way and I have a melt down. Since then, I have been implementing all sorts of "healthy" choices into my day to day routine. From dietary, to spiritual, to personal. It has been difficult, but awesome. It amazes me just how faithful the Lord is in my life...in our lives. I love how he loves me, simple as that.

So, here I am...adding another item to my day. Sometimes it amazes me just how much I do...I don't say this to brag or pat myself on the back...but I really do alot!! Being married and taking good care of a home and all the chores that entails, two pets and a husband along with working a bit more than full time...then adding in alone time, friend time, husband time, excersize, quiet time and on and on. And I don't even have kids yet...sheesh. Woman are amazing...mothers especially!!

Back to running- I started three weeks ago...5 times a week. Two weeks ago, I started (with an official conditioning guide) training for a 5k. So here I am, heading into my fourth week, and it has been AWESOME. I feel better, look better, have more energy and am loving it. I love conditioning my body. I love to see how strong it really is. Today I picked up a book on running called "The Complete Book of Running for Women". Here are just a few benefits I have learned since opening it up...

-Running is the quickest and most efficient means of weight loss

-Running reduces your risk of cardiovascular disease, the number one killer of women

-Running lowers your heart rate and blood pressure

-Running reduces your risk of stroke, the second leading killer of women

-Running lowers your risk of breast cancer (yes and amen!)

-Running enhances your immune system

-Running helps keep your intestinal tract in good working order

-Running enhances your respiratory system

-Running may reduce the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome

-Running improves your health and well being DURING pregnancy

-Running may reduce the symptoms of menopause

-Running prevents muscle and bone loss that occurs with age

-Running is good for your joints

-Running helps prevent a decline in reaction time

-Running leads to a long and happy life

So, the question is...why NOT run!? Well, it's still early in the game...but getting healthy makes me feel so good. Part of my motivation to begin with was to be nice and fit for our move to Maine...because once there, being actively outdoors will be a part of most, if not all of my days. So much to look forward to...cheers to a good run, and the future:)

Here...still.

2011-01-03T22:03:00.000-08:00

So, lately...and by lately, I mean over the past three and half years, I have REALLY wanted to leave the geographical location in which I, and my lovely husband, currently reside. I have NEVER done well staying in one place for very long. I always have to be doing something, going somewhere, moving, seeing, meeting, adventure, adventure, adventure...repeat.

I know this DOES NOT appeal to everybody. But I love to explore, I love the unknown and discovery. Very few things in life make me happier than being out on the open road, either by myself or with someone. I love, love, LOVE it. My most favorite memories are of crazy road trips I have taken, and almost every single one a random last minute decision. From random drives to Vegas in the middle of the night, to sudden decisions of packing up whatever would fit in my car to move to Anchorage, Ak where I knew NO ONE. I also did this when I moved here. Except in this circumstance, I knew a few people:)

I have experienced such beautiful places, driving from Los Angeles to Anchorage...through Canada and the Northern Territories. Seeing things most people probably never will, like driving, and camping from Anchorage to the Arctic Circle, and then onto the Arctic Ocean. These memories are so precious to me...these places, these experiences. For awhile I got to live on an Island, with very few people, and very MANY bears (largest bears in the world:) I lived in a house on the beach, where every morning when I looked out the window I could watch pods of Orcas swimming around the bay, rubbing against the rocks at the bottom. Then in the evening, feel the ocean breeze blow in through my window, smell the mix of pine trees and salty air, and listen to the buoys bobbing on the water. Right outside my door was paradise. I MISS these things.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I am so madly in love with my husband, and feel so blessed to be married to such a Godly man. I have a good life...I just miss those things that I feel like have made up so much of who I am. I don't want to lose them, those passions, those things that the Lord has placed in my heart that make me who I am. I don't want to think that those moments are over, and that those adventures were only for the past...but never to be experienced again.

The Lord has definitely given me grace to be here as long as I have...and heck, he could continue to provide that grace through another season. However, it doesn't feel that way now. If feels like things are winding down, wrapping up...coming to an end. And like the itch that I feel to go...to experience life, to have adventure and once again BE in the outdoors and feel my heart come alive again is going to be a reality once again. This time, I have a husband, and a best friend to share these things with:) I look forward to this...to adventure with the man I love...and for the Lord to meet us in the midst of it. For a heart awakened once again.

Until then...let the countdown begin:)

Anchorage, Ak

Kodiak Island, Ak

Aurora Borealis, Ak...nothing like it!!

Kodiak Grizzly, Kodiak Island, Ak

Kodiak, Ak

Life. Is. Life.

2010-05-23T18:43:00.000-07:00

I would like to start this by saying, my husband is AMAZING. He blesses me EVERY day. I can't imagine what my life would be without all of his support, leadership and love. He truly is one of the most selfless people I know...and it blesses my heart more than words could ever convey. Thank you Lord, for the most perfect gift:)

That being said, in all "real-ness"...I am desperate for really good girlfriends. For some reason, I have been in this massively DRY season of friendship. I am tired of my heart aching for just someone to chat with, to sit and laugh or cry with. A kindred spirit. I have these things with my husband, and I am working on having more alone time with the Lord. But, I just miss having that connection with another woman right now. Sometimes I think, well, if we just move, all will be well. But, that's the running away part that I am so good at. It makes me think something is wrong with ME. Sometimes I just wish I was a different person. But then, the Lord reminds me of who I am, and the way He has created me...so then why sometimes do I feel so alone? Se la vi.

What a depressing post. Oh well, it's where my heart is at this moment. So much emotion, I think I could cry for days. I really am so thankful for so much, but today...this is me.

Adventures in Photography

2010-05-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

So, I have been practicing my photo taking skills here and there over the past year or so...I mean more seriously then in the past:) I have to be in a pretty confident mood to feel like I will be successful in even getting ONE good shot out of MANY. If I don't feel it, then I don't try. However, I am trying to change that attitude. About a year ago in May, I visited my sister in Virginia, while there she asked me to take some engagement pictures of her and her fiancee Brad. I am such an amateur, but had alot of fun, and felt it was a great opportunity to practice! I also shot some pretty sweet pics of her FABULOUS engagement ring. Seriously, this ring was so fun to shoot just because of the style and intricacy. This brings us to, today. I decided to have some fun and shoot my ring, along with some super cute hair clips that my sister in law (Laurisa Ballew) makes for her business SaSa Blue Design. Mostly I was just having fun and practicing with both of my cameras, seeing what I could get with angles and lighting. I have to say, I have the most fun shooting texture and with natural lighting. Those, as of now, are my favs. None of these photos are edited, as I have not figured that whole arena out yet...one step at a time! Anyways, just thought I'd share my favs:)

(ps. these arn't in order, and I know they are not amazing, but it's a start:)

Always have to do a self portrait...
Love shooting small objects with a textured background...

Had fun with my ring, it's dirty, so isn't very clear:)

I just love the light through this tree:)
Texture, love texture...

Isn't this ring AMAZING!
I know this is overexposed, but I love the background:)
Yes, it's blurry, but I just love this shot...and I actually like the blurr...

think it looks creative:)
My favorite, Aimee has the best smile, and she is

gorgeous. I love seeing her happy:)

Old Journal Entry

2010-04-30T20:16:00.000-07:00

Acadia National Park, Maine 09.14.09

I was rummaging through one of my journals, and found this entry. It's less than a year old, but still, the time seems like it was an eternity ago. When I read it, it made me so happy...it's simple, but again, the Lord's faithfulness is why I was able to be in this place, and to write this entry.

September 14, 2009

I am sitting on a boulder that is perched atop an entire coastline of boulders and rocks...looking out at the amazing, vast ocean. I am in Acadia Maine, with my family, on a trip that is an answered prayer. My heart feels so alive in this place, being in nature, exposed to unquestionable beauty at every turn. The sound of the ocean and it's pounding waves...the rich hues of blue and green in the water, topped with accents of white foam. The seagulls calling out to each other, and the solitude of being alone to fellowship with the Lord and enjoy His beauty. Thank you Jesus for this day.

I'm Back!!

2010-04-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

Me and Ashton @ McCormick and Schmick 09.04.08

Ok, so I have been wanting to start blogging again, but have opted out every time the thought entered my mind. Why? Well, because there are too many thoughts, and not enough time to write them all down. There is also this little thing called articulation that, more often then not, seems to elude me. Well, enough is enough! Due to a long over-due get together with a precious, precious friend and her encouragement, I will tackle this blog again. Thanks Ash, you have no idea what you did for my heart today, and thank you Jesus for friends:)

It's been awhile...

2009-05-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been awhile since my last blog. Alot has happened, and Rob and I have been busy...as usual:) I just got back from a trip to Virginia, which was such a blessing for me to go on. Rob stayed home and worked, but blessed me so much while I was away. I'm a lucky girl, what can I say:) I am very excited for a two things we have coming up in September. The first thing will be our One Year Anniversary!! The second will be our ten day trip to Maine:) I am very much counting down the days...I know this summer will fly by! We will also be official Ihop staff as of June 4th and are very excited and blessed with the opportunity. Since moving here in March, our house has finally become a home...thanks to many friends, family and my hubby. We love it here, and have been so lucky to have the roomates that we do. The Lord continues to show his faithfulness EVERYDAY...and I continue to be humbled. This truly is "the life" and I couldn't imagine it any other way. For anyone that is reading this, I would just ask for prayer, for myself, my family and especially my sister. Somethings have happened in the past couple of months that have really discouraged and brought up alot of pain in our family. I would even call it a tragedy, but know that the Lord will work all things together for good. However, in the midst, my heart is broken, and I am having a hard time diciphering up from down. I apologize for the jumbled mess that this blog is. I am not even sure why I wrote this, maybe it's just a small cry for help. Please pray. It works. Thanks.

It's Official

2009-03-31T13:05:00.000-07:00

As of today, March 31st 2009, I am officially (per the social security department) a Ballew!! Rob and I got up bright and early and headed down to the Jackson County Recorder of Deeds, purchased two OFFICIAL copies of our marriage license, then made our way over to the social security office and made the switch:) Now, for a new license. Oh man. Let me just say, for the record...they DO NOT make it easy to change things- weather it be your name, drivers license, license plate, registration...etc...etc. Not that I think it should be easy, but I do think that you should be able to get MOST of this stuff done in ONE place. However, each of those things has to be done in different places...at least out here. What a hassle. This is why I avoid changing things until I absolutely have to. This is also why I have gotten several tickets:( Not anymore!! I am up to date, organized, legal and official in every possible way. Thank you Jesus for you grace to get it all done:)!

On a lighter, more fun note: I HIGHLY recommend renting Disney's new animated movie BOLT. It's about a dog and his "person". So well done, hilarious, and completely clean. Gotta love that! I would say it's even worth owning:) Secondly, if you havn't seen the preview to Disney's new animated movie "The Princess and the Frog". It comes out December 12th and is hand drawn animation like they used to do. By the creators of The Little Mermaid and Aladdin. Here is the link to Walt Disney Pictures official homepage where you can view the preview. Enjoy!

On ANOTHER note. Check out the Choose LIFE Cd on Ihop.org along with Ihop's new limited edition 23. Wow, both so amazing!! Song number two on the Le 23 is called "Oh that you would rend the Heaven's" by Misty Edwards and is so powerful. If your in the mood for some new music, these two albums are the way to go:)

My Husband Rock's Friday!

2009-03-27T22:10:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!

Man of God

Youthful

Handsome:)

Unbelievably tender

Sweet

Blesses many

Always encouraging

Newly Wed

Destined for greatness

Relentless

Optimistic

Clever

Kind

Seeker of truth

Fantastic husband!

Rock's!

Is going to be the most AMAZING father

Deserving of great things

American made

Yowza!!

!!!

My Husband the model...

2009-03-24T23:59:00.000-07:00

Rob took me to the Roasterie (an amazing little coffee shop in Brookside) and then the plaza. It was a beautiful day, and we had alot of fun just being together:)

Here is Rob modeling the "My Wife Rock's" tee we bought for V-day. We each got one for eachother, mine, obviously says "My Husband Rocks" and I love it!! Anyways, he took me on a date the other day, and was really excited to show it off:) Love him!

My Husband Rock's Friday!!

2009-03-20T20:21:00.001-07:00

It's friday again! Amazing. I love to talk about my man:) He is so tender, and caring. The way he treats me everyday is with sensitivity, love and understanding. I can only imagine what he will be like when we have kids! I am so excited for that day, because I know he will be the best father:) I had a few days of feeling sick this week, and usually when I get this particular feeling, I don't want to be around ANYONE. I am not very pleasant, and cranky. Sad, I know. Well, my husband, he isn't phased by this. No, he pushes past my 10 foot pole and wall of emotion and just loves on me. Holds me, strokes my hair, and continuously tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. I can't tell you what this does to my heart. I love this man!! Not only that, but on Tuesday, at like 2 in the morning, he came home with an amazing bouquet of flowers:) They were RADIANT (see above picture)!! I felt like such a princess:) I always say this, and I always will...I love how he loves me:)

"If everything we've got is blowing away, we've got a rock and a rock til our dying day. I'm holding on to you, holding on to me, maybe it's all we got but it's all I need, You're all I need."

All I Need by Mat Kearney

My Husband Rock's Friday!

2009-03-14T20:52:00.000-07:00

I know this is a day late, but, better late then never:) My husband always rocks, and I am always blessed by him. It's so funny because when I go to write these little praise reports about him...I feel I sometimes get stumped. Not because there is nothing to say, but because there are SO MANY THINGS! What stands out to me right now, is how accommodating he was when my family was in town. They visited a little over a week ago. All except for my dad:( Not only did we have family, but three of them flew in from different places, and had delayed flights. Let me make this story even more interesting. My family came in on a Monday, and we had moved the day before...yes, thats right...Sunday. Into a house. Way across town. On minimal sleep. After many days worked. Coming off of a night schedule. Chaotic doesn't even begin to describe the days leading up to that Monday. In addition, we also had a girl driving from California moving in with us, and arriving Monday evening with her mom, and one of my brothers friends visiting with him from Maine, who would be staying with us:) So, this is our Monday. Sarah: get up after maybe 3 hours of sleep after being up all night unpacking and cleaning our house. Go to work for two hours. Come home get ready, Rob: running around like a crazy person, paying rent to not one, but two places...our apartment and now new home. Both meet back up at house, leave to pick mom up from airport 30 min away. Get to airport where we are supposed to pick up Andrew (coming from Maine), Mom (coming from Cali) and Aimee (coming from Virginia). In actuality, only Mom's flight was able to come in. Andrews was pushed back 6 hours, and Aimees cancelled til next day. We grab mom, run to dinner, run home, unload car, peruse new house, friendly comments exchanged, much love...gotta go! Run back to the airport, Andrew's flight landed, all passengers unloaded, all passengers grabbing baggage, all passengers leaving, no passengers left. No Andrew. Hmm. Call Andrew, his phone is dead. Rob and Daniel run around airport looking for Andrew. Mom and Sarah also looking, utter confusion...30 min go by, airport is turning lights off at terminals, and things are shutting down. There is a big tall person walking towards us. It's ANDREW! Grab Andrew, run home. GO TO BED. Next morning wake up, run and get Aimee. Come home, Rob and Sarah both off to work. Work, work, work. Come home see family, hang out, share stories, laugh, cry, bicker...old times. Repeat next day, and every day thereafter for one week. We had 5 people total staying with us:) It was crazy. I don't know how we did it. My husband didn't complain once. He was supportive. He worked his schedule out to be with us as much as possible, even though he still had to work a maximum amount of hours. He made sure I was spending enough time with everyone, and constantly offered to do whatever he could. He made everyone feel compfortable, and included. He even made sure I had some spending money:) The week came and went in a whirlwind. It will forever be one of my most precious memories:) I couldn't have done it without my husband, and all of his love and support.

Rob, thank you for being so accommodating and flexible with my family and I. Thank you for running around doing family stuff, working, running around some more, and in the midst of it all, being such a supportive husband. You bless me and I love you more than words. Xoxo.

My Husband Rock's Friday!

2009-02-27T20:34:00.000-08:00

Share anything you'd like the world to know about your rocking awesome hubby! :)

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patience |ˈpā sh əns|

noun
1 the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset

The above word and it's definition are what my husband has been this week. This has to be one of THE clumsiest weeks, no, past few months that I have ever had. My mistakes are expensive, and we are poor:) Instead of getting angry with me, he hugs me, tells me he loves me, and reasures me that everything will be fine. I always expect the worst reaction- but have yet to experience a negative response. Here are a few of my "calamity's"; hit a pole in our parking structure and knocked off my bumper and lights, spilled milk on my laptop and dropped my ipod in the toilet. Two of the three incidents are resolved, and praise the Lord, with very little hit to our bank account. We were able to fix the jeep via a very generous friend from Ihop, and we took my laptop in to be looked at, and not only was it not damaged from the milk, but the little things on it we were having trouble with they repaired for free. The only true casualty was my ipod. Unfortunately, they are not made to be water repellant.So, a word to the wise- do not place them in water:) When I tried to turn the little guy on- he made some whizzing, pinging noises- and the screen flashed a picture of an ipod with a sad face and a phone number to apple. So alas I bid farewell to my Ipod. We have been through ALOT together...I am surprised he lasted as long as he did.

Back to my husband- as you can see, many reasons why he could be upset with me. And I would totally understand if he was. But no, not Rob. His patience is such a relief, and a blessing. I love him so much:)

P.S. I also accidently messed up on cutting his hair, and had to shave it all off:( Now that, he was kind of not so happy about, but, took it all in stride. And still loves me:)

Testimony

2009-02-21T15:17:00.000-08:00

God has been so faithful to Rob and I. From day one, His favor has been upon us, and it is such a testimony of His goodness. He truly hears the small cries of our hearts. This past week we have had quite a few great breakthrough's, I will share two of them: one is...WE FOUND A HOUSE!! Praise Jesus! We will be moving into a house that is owned by some friends of ours. They are moving back to California after having been out here for about 4 years, serving at Ihop. How funny timing is, because just when we were down to the wire, needing a place to live (anything we could get)...our friends the Weaver's were needing renters just as badly. Rob and I were praying for (at the most) a duplex, or town home, or a slightly larger apartment. Never did we think we would come out on the other side of this with the MOST amazing, beautiful, home (you can see pictures of it here). There are so many little details about this story that make it such a blessing, and so the Lord. We will be within walking distance of Ihop, living in a neighborhood of Ihoper's. I have already found a few people our age that are on nights that live two houses down from us!! Amazing! The second thing is; Rob had been praying for the past week for a very specific amount of money, for bills/rent/moving etc. Well, last night we both went into the lobby for a few minutes to chat with some friends, I went back to my seat, when I noticed sitting on it was a wad of $20's. I looked around, kind of confused- I mean, I have heard of this type of thing happening, and even heard it happen to friends. But to us?? Clearly, I'm still working on the faith issue in my heart:) I am still blown away. Yet, this shouldn't surprise me, we serve a God who can do ANYTHING!! I am not writing all of this to say that BECAUSE he did these things for us, he is faithful. I know that He is faithful NO MATTER WHAT. Even in the midst of difficulty, or not getting the things we ask...His faithfulness doesn't suddenly go away...He is always good. I am just testifying, yet again of His goodness and faithfulness. I wish I could expound on this more, but all I can say is Praise Jesus!! He leaves me speechless.

Thank you Lord for your provision, and for meeting us even in our lack of faith or understanding. For loving us in our weakness, and blessing us throughout it all.

My Husband Rocks Friday...

2009-02-20T21:58:00.000-08:00

Share your favorite "married moment" from the past couple of weeks. Anything that was special, made you smile, or made you feel all "warm and fuzzy" :)

I was sick most of this week, and had to be in bed sleeping or resting as I felt terrible. It was frustrating, because I had to watch my husband, who already works SO hard, continue to get up and go to work...come home comfort me...get ready and go to class...and then go to the prayer room. Only to do this all again the next day (4 days in a row). In the midst of it all, his only concern was me. It didn't matter what I wanted or needed, he was ready to make it happen. In the few moments between running, running, running, he brought me my favorite soup (panera's broccoli cheese) twice...made me multiple glasses of chocolate milk (my favorite drink) and still took the time to lie down with me, pray with me, and make sure I was ok. When I offered to help him get ready, make him food, or do something minimal to help him out- he made me go back to bed-so I could feel better. I am loved beyond words:)

Thank you honey for being such an amazing man of God. For working so hard, and for taking care of me. You are a true example of what it is to serve. Everyday you remind me of not only the love you have for me, but the Fathers love for me. It is such an honor to see Him working in your life, and your willingness to press on. I love you so much.

Lord, give us a house!!

2009-02-15T12:40:00.000-08:00

Rob and I are spending our last month in our "first home"/ apartment. Our lease is up in March and we have been frantically looking for another apartment. Since we are working and doing the internship at night...it has been really difficult. We have looked all over Grandview, and have really found nothing. It seems like we are running into walls. Rob feels very strongly that we should move into a house. I am skeptical. I would love to. Oh how I would love to. However, houses cost more money. As trying to find an apartment has not worked AT ALL, I am praying that maybe it's because the Lord has something far GREATER than an apartment for us. If I think about it too long, the possibility of a house, my mind gets carried away. What a dream come true it would be. I imagine all the possibilities of a house; a backyard for Charlie, my own yard to have a garden and manicure ( i love mowing the lawn), a REAL kitchen with space for all of our great stuff, and the space to learn to cook properly, more than one bedroom so we could have a guest room and a place for family to come and stay, a music room for Rob and ALL of his instruments. A place to grow into, and have a family. What a glorious thought. God is so faithful. Even if we move into another apartment, it's still exciting, a new place to call home, and another step down the road to something greater:) I am reminded of two verses. The first, is my life verse and I am ALWAYS reminded of this...

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

This next verse is one that the Lord has continuously been highlighting to me since Rob and I were married.

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink' nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns' yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kindgon of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's own things. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble. Matthew 6:25-34

Thank you Lord, that you know what Rob and I need. That you have everything figured out for us, even down to the last detail. That all we need to do is seek you with all of our hearts, and trust the plans that you have for us. Thank you for your grace, and everlasting joy. Amen.

Pray

2009-02-15T03:15:00.000-08:00

I came home one day and Rob had purchased this pray sign and candles and set our dresser up like this- I love it, and thought I'd share the picture:)

Valentines Day 2009

2009-02-15T02:32:00.000-08:00

Rob and I had an amazing Valentine's Day! It's kind of like we had two:) Since we are on nights, and we spend them in the prayer room- the 14th started at midnight while we were in there. I'd say that's a great way to start a day together- spending time contenting in prayer. We left the prayer room at 5:30am and took his mom flowers at work (Starbucks). Then we came home and gave eachother cards and had some Valentine's chocolate that he had gotten me:) Mmmm. I gave him his gift, it may sound lame, but he has really been wanting a tie hanger/organizer, so I finally got him one:) Realizing we didn't want to sleep in too late, we decided to hit the hay.
We got up around 2ish, got ready and went shopping. We still had a gift card to Crate and Barrell, so we went there and found the cutest personal porceline tea pot and cup (it's so cute and small!) He bought me that and a little bamboo serving tray, and turquois vase:) I love them!! My new favorite thing is tea, and small things. Not really sure why. I am also suddenly loving flowers. They make me happy- and remind me of life. If anyone knows me, I have never been a big flower person, so this, I blame on my mom. (No offense mom, it's a good thing- just weird for ME). Next, we went to dinner at a lovely Italian restaurant called Cinzetti's. It was fabulous! Of course we then hit up Starbuck's, because working there everyday isn't enough, you HAVE to go in on your days off as well:) We drove around enjoying conversation and city viewing, then came home. I had been feeling sick all day, so he made sure I got comfortable and went to bed. This is what I love about my husband so much, he is ALWAYS making sure I am ok. He always wants to make sure I feel loved, happy, comfortable, content. He dotes on me non-stop. I know I have said this alot, but he loves me so well. He treats me like a princess. I really do believe I have THE BEST husband ever. God is so faithful, he really dose have the BEST for us, if we choose to be patient and ALLOW him to provide it for us in His timing:)

I posted the few pictures we took today, including one of the tea pot/cup and tray he got me:)

Pray for Colombia

2009-02-12T00:11:00.000-08:00

Colombia has been on my heart alot lately. For so many years, I have had such a strong desire to go and do ministry work amongst the impoverished areas. What is interesting, is that whenever I mention this desire, so many people respond in horror. "Why would you want to go there? It's so dangerous and corrupt!" Here's the funny thing. I have no sense of fear. None. All credit goes to the Lord for that:)

I know that this is a desire placed on my heart by Him, and that one day, I will have the opportunity. For now, I want to be in the place of preperation. To sit before the Lord and inquire of His hearts desires. To humble myself, in all areas. To go low everyday, and seek His face continuously. To buy gold. I want to know Him so well, that others might know Him through me, without words ever being spoken.

I love these people. Yet, I know His love for them is far greater than mine could ever be. I will continue to cry out for this country. If you have read this, I would ask that you do as well. Here is a link about Colombia, just in case you would like to know more:)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colombia

The picture above is of the capital city of Bogota

Valentines Day:)

2009-02-10T19:02:00.000-08:00

What Rob and I are getting eachother for Valentines Day. I am very excited!

Here is the link in case anyone else is interested.

http://www.frommetees.com

Blessed

2009-02-06T19:30:00.001-08:00

As I sit at home, waiting for Rob to get off of a long day at work...I am reminded of just how lucky I am.

We both work at Starbucks. He is full time and I am part. Not only are we both working, but are doing an internship at IHOP...during the night. Which, I might add, is three months long, intense because of the hours you put in, but even more so when done during the night hours. On top of all that, they don't usually allow interns to work during internship, because of the difficulty. However, as we are not raising support yet, they graciously, with some concern, allowed us to continue working. So, this is what our current schedule looks like; class from 10pm-12am, prayer room 12am-6am Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. Friday and Saturday is the EGS (encounter God service) from 6pm-8pm, 9pm-11pm prayer room, 12am-6am prayer room. Sunday is FCF (Forerunner Christian Fellowship) 6pm-8pm, class 10pm-12am, prayer room 12am-6am. Then, there's Wednesday, considered our "sabbath" so we don't have to be in the prayer room until 4am and only until 6am. Now, in addition, we are both getting up around 1pm to work until about 9pm...give or take, some days are a little different. Not only do we barely have time together, but we are CONSTANTLY going. We also have about 5 weeks to find a new place to live:)

The beauty of all of this is the Lords faithfulness, and Rob's support and strength. This was my idea, and even though he was somewhat skeptical, because of how busy we already are, in addition to being newlyweds and not having alot of personal time, he went for it. He has been so positive, so encouraging and so attentive to my thoughts and feelings. He hasn't complained, even though he is working harder than anyone I know. I believe the Lord is really giving him grace, and meeting Him through this time. He makes me want to go hard, with a good attitude, and to truly appreciate the season the Lord has us in.

We have completed about a month of the internship, and though I feel like there is a long road ahead of us, I know, with the Lords grace, and my amazing husband...we will finish strong. He loves me so well, I could not have asked for a better man.

We Voted!!

2009-02-05T00:09:00.000-08:00

This was Rob's first time voting, and my third. It was exciting because it was one of the first big decisions we got to make together (as husband and wife). Our main concern was voting pro-life. The Lord has really marked our hearts with this message. Ultimately, we do not look to man, but to God. It is His government that will reign forever.

"...Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end...and He shall reign forever and ever..."

Kodi

2009-02-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

I couldn't post about Moses and Charlie, without posting about my most favorite cat. Though he isn't living with Rob and I now, he hopefully will be in the future. For now he keeps my parents on their toes:) I will share a little of his story. When I worked at Banfield Pet Hospital in Pasadena, California, we would get random strays in all the time. Since we were an animal hospital, we didn't take strays and would send people to animal shelters. Well, one day, a lady brought in this teeny tiny, dirty, loud, flea infested kitten. She had found him stuck in her wall and figured he must have fallen and his mother couldn't get to him. She tried to find the mother but couldn't, so she brought him to us. I couldn't turn him away, he was so pathetic! Plus, at the time, I was already fostering a group of kittens just a little older than him. What the heck, why not another:) I bottle fed him along with the others every two hours, stimulated them to pee and poop and eventually weaned them. I found the other kittens homes and decided to keep Kodi. His full name is Kodiak (like the island in Alaska). He has moved with me to three different homes, and seen numerous "fosters" that have come and gone. Hopefully he will be causing trouble in our home again soon:)

Our "Kids"

2009-02-04T19:30:00.000-08:00

Pet's add such a dimension of carefree entertainment to your everyday life. I love that no matter what's going on, they are always...ALWAYS happy. They live simply to enjoy our company, and are the most faithful friends. For now, this is our family:)

A few fun animal quotes:

"There are no ordinary cats" Collette

"Thousands of years ago, cat's were worshipped as gods. Cat's have never forgotten this." Anonymous

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." Andrew A. Rooney

"Animals are such agreeable friends- they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." George Eliot

   Moses and Charlie

Getting Started

2009-02-03T23:22:00.001-08:00

Well, this is it. Our official Blog. A place for Rob or I...(more emphasis on the I) to update friends and family on our lives. Both the exciting and not so exciting. I hope to keep this pretty up to date...even with a lack of time. To share thoughts, encouragement, stories, prayer requests, and the daily in's and out's of being married and what the Lord is doing. Hopefully, if I can become savvy enough to figure this thing out, I can even post pictures:) Well, that's it for now! Exciting I know, bet you can't wait to read my next post. I will have a following in no time:)

Racing Tornadoes

2007-04-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

I pretty much had the coolest day ever, per the title of my blog, you may have guessed what took place. Oh, but it was so much cooler than the title could ever let on. So...I'm in Oklahoma, Dewey Oklahoma to be precise. I am out here with some friends that are shooting a movie on a ranch. This ranch is huge. It consists of hundreds of acres of prairie, a few thousand cattle and an old western town that has been built for he enjoyment of the owner. This morning as we were about to begin shooting, the sky went from being clear to turning pretty dark...we decided we would still try to shoot what we could- we got out 3 horses to use for the filming and shot a few scenes. The moment we finished shooting a torential downpour started, no sooner had that started then we got news that two tornadoes had touched down one town away from us. In the midst of that exciting news, the thunder and lightning also chimed in. As everyone was running around putting camera equipment away or going for cover...we still had 3 horses to deal with. Horses don't like bad weather, they spook easy and can be difficult or dangerous to ride. We still had to ride them two miles back to the stables the were staying in. Considering how close the tornadoes were, we didn't know weather to book it to the stables or stay close to a big building and just tie the horses up outside...as you can guess...we opted to race the horses back to the stables, have someone follow us in a car and pick us up to bring us back to the safe zone. Lloyd, me and my friend Paul hopped on the horses, and ran them as fast as we could through sheets of rain, loud thunder and lots of lightning back to their stables. It was such an adrenaline rush!!! I think this may top the list as one of the coolest things I've ever done. It was straight out of a movie:)

My brother, Iraq...

2007-04-15T18:17:00.000-07:00

This is something my brother wrote and sent to me a few weeks ago. I have been wanting to post it..it's so good. He is in Bahrain, Iraq. I don't know when he will be coming home, but I am so proud of him:) If you read this, pray for him...thanks:)

I lay asleep in a peaceful paradise, and within an instant I am pulled from that state of relaxation and thrown into reality with those feared words .."Next Watch Bitch." I glance at my watch hoping there is a mistake, 0300 right on time. Stumbling out of my rack as if I where in a drunken state I wonder why I volunteered for this kind of a job. While most guys my age are still out bar hopping, I am getting ready for the long day ahead of me. I finish lacing up my boots and head to the mess deck for a quick cup of Pointless coffee, caffeine no longer affects me. I suppose it's the flavor I am addicted to. I scramble up to the pilot house and begin my work.
As the distant clouds begin to glow the stars slowly fade, God once again reminds me of his glory on the 0400 to 0800. Its not long before the turquoise water fills with DHOWS (the fishing vessels of local countries) and these inexperienced mariners begin their fishing.What makes these people so special, to be given all this attention of the United States ? It doesn't take long for the answer to sail by. A DHOW with 5 men on deck glides through the water. All giving us thankful smiles and their signature wave with both hands in the air, I then realize that these helpless people depend on the coalition forces for their survival. It isn't just a fight against terrorism, but it's a fight for humanity. This is operation Iraqi/ Enduring Freedom.

Maine...The Land of Remembered Vacations...

2007-04-15T18:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, so again, old post. However, I still feel this way. The irony of this whole post and Maine, is that shortly after I started pining to be in this amazing state, and plotting my move. My brother Andrew (in Iraq at the time) lets me know he will be stationed there when he returns from Iraq. He is there now and has been for about 1 year or so. I think it's kind of funny, the timing of it:) I'm still a little jealous.

I want to move to Maine. This thought struck me as I was driving around the other day, and a car with a Maine license plate pulled in front of me. As soon as I saw it, I thought "Who lives in Maine?" I mean, it's probably one of the least thought about states right? So un-thought of, I wonder, is it still a state? Anyways, I decided I would follow them because I thought, to have come from Maine, they have to be pretty cool and I wanted to talk to them...well, they ended up going exactly where I was going anyways. Sad story, once we got there, there was no parking, so we both went our separate ways:( Here are some facts about "The Pine Tree State," possibly my future home:)

Eastport is the most eastern city in the United States. The city is considered the first place in the United States to receive the rays of the morning sun.

In Wilton there's a cannery that imports and cans only dandelion greens.

Maine is the only state in the United States whose name has one syllable.

Maine is the only state that shares its border with only one other state.

Bath is known as the City of Ships.

Joshua L. Chamberlain born in Brewer received the only battlefield promotion to General during the Civil War. He was also the last Civil War soldier to die of wounds incurred in the War.

The White Mountain National Forest covers nearly 800,000 acres, the forest covers a landscape ranging from hardwood forests to the largest alpine area east of the Rocky Mountains

Aroostook County at 6,453 square miles covers an area greater than the combined size of Connecticut and Rhode Island.

Approximately 40 millions pounds (nearly 90 percent) of the nation's lobster supply is caught off the coast of Maine.

Maine produces 99% of all the blueberries in the country making it the single largest producer of blueberries in the United States.

Maine's earliest inhabitants were descendants of Ice Age hunters.

Portland was first temporarily selected as the state capital. In 1832 the capital was moved to the centrally located site of Augusta.

In 1641 America's first chartered city was York.

Acadia National Park is the second most visited national park in the United States.

West Quoddy Head is the most easterly point in the United States.

Augusta is the most eastern capital city in the United States.

Mount Katahdin is the state's highest point at 5,268 feet above sea level.

Togus was the first Veteran's Hospital in the United States. The facility was founded in 1866.

An unsuccessful attempt at establishing a permanent English settlement in the New World was at the location now known as Popham Beach. Sir George Popham led the expedition in 1607.

90% of the country's toothpick supply is produced in Maine.

Portland is the birthplace of poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

Senator Margaret Chase Smith stood up in the senate and gave the famous Declaration of Conscious speech, speaking out against the McCarthy era. Senator Smith was the first female presidential candidate.

Author Steven King is a resident of Bangor.

Former President George Bush has a summer home in Kennebunkport.

Freeport is the home to the L.L. Bean Company.

The skating scene in the movie "The Preacher's Wife" was filmed in Deering Oaks Park in Portland.

The chickadee is the official state bird.

Maine lies farther northeast than any other state.

Maine's nickname as the Pine Tree State comes from the pines that once dotted the state's forests.

With a total area of 33,215 square miles the state covers nearly as many square miles as the other five New England states combined.

The state flower is the white pine cone and tassel.

The coastline boasts so many deep harbors it is thought all the navies in the world could anchor in them.

Maine lobsters have won international fame for their flavor and contribution to the culinary world.

The Penobscot Marine Museum in Searsport houses numerous historic buildings and marine memorabilia.

Fort Knox erected in 1844 is a state historic site originally built to protect the Penobscot River Valley from British naval attack. The fort was constructed from granite from nearby Mount Waldo.

Numerous lighthouses dot the Main coast including Fort Point Lighthouse at Fort Point State Park in Stockton Springs and Grindle Point Lighthouse on Isleboro.

The Sailor's Memorial Museum in Isleboro features displays depicting life at sea.

Located in Thorndike Village, the Bryant Stove Works and Museum displays an eclectic collection of antique cast iron stoves, parlor heaters, roadsters and touring cars. In addition, the museum features antique layer pianos, pipe organs and music boxes, calliopes, nickelodeons, and hurdy-gurdys.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was considered the most influential poet of his day. The writer was born in Portland, on February 2, 1807. His most popular works include "The Courtship of Miles Standish", "Evangeline" and "Hiawatha".

The nation's first sawmill was established near York in 1623.

York became the nation's first incorporated city in 1642.

The first ship build by English colonists in Americas was launched on the Kennebec River in 1607.

The first naval battle of the Revolutionary War was fought off Machias in 1775.

Maine was admitted to the Union as the 23rd state on March 15, 1820.

Maine's blueberry crop is the largest in the nation.

The honeybee is the official state insect.

Maine contains 542,629 acres of state and national parks.

Edmund S. Muskie became the first Democratic United States senator ever elected by popular vote in Maine. He was also elected governor for two terms. He was born in Rumford.

Eastport is the only United States owned principality that has been under rule by a foreign government. It was held from 1814 to 1818 by British troops under King George following the conclusion of the War of 1812.

Maine's government entities are comprised of 16 counties with 22 cities, 435 towns, 33 plantations, 424 unorganized townships and 3 Indian reservations.

I miss horses, like I miss breathing.

2007-03-05T18:12:00.000-08:00

The subject line says it all.

Me and Benson:) Alpine, (San Diego, Ca).

I got a Mac:)

2007-03-02T18:10:00.000-08:00

Sooo- I got a Mac. I have already posted a bulletin about this- but news of this magnitude deserves a blog spot as well. It's a black Macbook- with all the sweet features like photobooth, garage band, iphoto...etc. With this new addition to my life, I should have no excuse to not keep in touch with people on a regular basis- no more unread email, no more missed payments or late bills...well, it's a nice computer, not a magic computer:) Anyways- yay for me!!

Ok, so I have nothing better to do right now before bed...

2007-02-03T23:00:00.000-08:00

How well do you know me?? For instance did you know.....

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. "Groom/Stable hand"Working on a horse ranch in Alpine, San Diego county California. There were 50+ horses, and never a dull moment! I have been bit, kicked, stepped on fallen off, dragged and broken three toes at this job. I loved it though:)
2. Customer Care Rep for Veterinary Pet Insurance in Brea California
3. Vet Tech for Banfield Pet Hospital in Pasadena California
4. Sales, Customer Service Rep, Cashier, Shipping/Recieving, Visual merchandiser for REI (recreational equipment incorporated) I worked at the San Dimas, Arcadia, and Encinitas stores in California, then the REI in Anchorage Alaska.

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. My Best Friends Wedding
2. The Lion King
3. The Black Stallion
4. Pride and Prejudice

Four places I have lived:
1. Pasadena, Ca
2. San Diego, Ca
3. Anchorage, Ak
4. Kansas City, Mo

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Lost
2. Friends
3. I Love Lucy
4. The Cosby Show

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. All over British Columbia and the Northern Territories, Canada
2. Cape May, New Jersey
3. Maui, Hawaii
4. Prudhoe Bay, the arctic ocean, Alaska

Four websites I visit daily:
1. My yahoo email
2. My myspace page
3. Msn
4. Apple.com:)

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Fettuccini Alfredo...mmm
2. Pizza from Papa Jhons
3. Soft Tostada (mexican food) from El Loco in Los Angeles
4. Alligator...mmm, good stuff

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. On horseback in the mountains somewhere...or open plain
2. Laguna Beach, watching the sun set, and walking along the water...ooh, i love it!!
3. In Alaska, doing some crazy thing, like taking a 12 ft canoe down a 3ft deep creek, and capsizing multiple times!! Haha...good times sam:)
4. In a plane, flying somewhere...

Running Lately

2007-02-03T18:07:00.000-08:00

Ok, so again, this is an old post, and really not much of anything. But, it does remind me, I sure used to run alot, and I miss it. And if nothing else, this is a little reminder that I need to start again:)

I have been running alot lately. It is hard. I run alot. I am sore. The morning after a long run, I feel like I have a bit of a hangover. Whats that about? Anyways. I can feel my muscles, and picture the positive results. Yay for running.

So, this is not a picture of me running, but rather riding. Cycling is one of my passions, and I took this picture while riding to Starbucks. A total ride of 24 miles:)

The Inevitable...

2006-09-19T18:03:00.000-07:00

Change is inevitable...we face change every single day, wheather it's blatantantly recognizable or subconcious. Usually change for me is something I welcome with open arms. I like new experiences, and even though transition can be difficult with change...I accept the challenge. I like to be stretched...I like knowing that my changing or things around me changing are part of a greater plan the Lord has for my life, even though I can't see the big picture.

That having been said, today I am struck with a mournful change. My sister, and youngest sibling left for USCG bootcamp in Cape May, New Jersey. Something I am extremely proud of her for, and know is a calling the Lord has on her life. However, I realize, she is the last of us kids to leave home, and venture out to start her own life. The whole dynamic of our family has shifted on this day. My parents now have an empty house, and going home to visit, where I could once be welcomed by at least one sibling that still remained, is no longer a reality. We all have totally seperate lives, which is amazing, because we are all still so close and following the Lord and being blessed by him...yet at the same time...it's just so wierd to think that our childhood is truly over. And the things that defined that chapter of my life, no longer exist. I guess, the way I see it, is that because Aimee was still at home, when I would be visiting, it still felt like old times...when we all lived there. Like I was hanging on to my younger years through her. It was compforting I supose.

Those days are gone. It's a bitter sweet experience. I can't believe we are all in such different places, and "grown up". No more summer family vacations, no more sitting together every night and eating dinner together, no more getting up early for saturday morning cartoons, no more unavoidable daily chores, or petty bickering or family games or movie nights...or the excitment of holiday preperation...christmas songs all day every day from Thanksgiving til christmas!! Holiday baking and shopping, gift giving and christmas light viewing! These are a thing of the past. For me some of this stuff, like saturday morning cartoons, have been long gone years and years ago. For some reason, none of this was such a reality, as today.

There has been a major shift, and things will never be the same. It will always be wonderful to get together and visit. Those will be cherished times...invaluable as time goes on. Today is a day of goodbyes to the past, and to the compfort and safety of what I recognized as "home" and "family". So, it is with a bittersweet attitude, that I bid my farewell. Thank goodness that memories last a lifetime:)

City of Angels?

2006-09-18T18:01:00.000-07:00

(Old post from myspace that I decided to import to this current blog)

I just read a bulletin someone posted about realizing Los Angeles is not all it's cracked up to be...I totally agree. It totally reminded me of one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands...Death Cab for Cutie. So, here I will copy and paste, rather than put deep thought into this entry....enjoy!!

Why You'd Want to Live Here; By DCFC

"I'm in los angeles today... garbage cans comprise the medians of freeways always creaping even when the population's sleeping.

And i can't see why you'd want to live here.

I'm in los angeles today... asked a gas station employee if he ever had trouble breathing and he said "it varies from season to season, kid."

It's where our best are on display... motion picture actors' houses maps are never ever current so save your film and $15.

And i can't see why you'd want to live here.
Billboards reach past the tallest buildings,
"we are not perfect but we sure try."
As UV rays "degradate" our youth with time.

The vessel keeps pumping us through this entropic place in the belly of the beast that is californ-i-a,
I drank from a faucet and i kept my receipts for when the weigh me on my way out (here nothing is free).
The greyhounds keep coming dumping locusts into the street until the gutters overflow and los angeles thinks, "i might explode someday soon."

It's a lovely summer's day and i can almost see a skyline through a thickening shroud of egos.
(is this the city of angeles or demons?)
Here the names are what remain... stars encapsulate the gold lame and they need constant cleaning for when the tourists begin salivating.

You can't swim in a town this shallow - you will most assuredly drown tomorrow. "

Ok, so that's maybe a little harsh. I mean I did grow up there, so there are things that I can appreciate as a so-cal girl. But it isn't the dream that half the world believes it to be. Trust me, if you never visit, you can continue to dream that it's this great place, and not have to be completely dissapointed once you make the coveted trip and reality bites you in the butt:)

Prayer

2006-09-06T17:57:00.000-07:00

Lord...
Change me, refine me, mold me to be the woman you desire. Breathe upon the embers in my heart to ignite the fire that I know is beneath the surface. I want my life to be consumed by you, and nothing else. I dedicate my life to seeking after and knowing you more everyday. Amen:)

I have a triple tall, sugar free vanilla, extra whip mocha at the bar!!

2006-09-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, soo, I started my new job today at Starbucks...and I.....LOVED IT!!! This company is awesome! There is definately alot to memorize, but it is soo worth it! The people I work with are amazing, my boss is a christian, and totally rocks...I am soo blessed to be here, and to be surrounded by all these amazing people, both at work, and at home...and Ihop:) I am a barista in training, and can't wait til I am able to make all those drinks in my sleep. Although, today alone I already learned how to make Frappuccino's both coffee based and creme based...oh, and iced drinks too! I have had some really great jobs, and this job will definately add a whole other category to my work experience:) I am truly blessed. Ooh, and fall is just around the corner...yay!! Oh, I am soo happy!! While I am rambling...our little stray (small dog we have that has no name that I found)...had puppies on friday 09/01. She had a little boy and girl...both soooooo adorable!! Mom, and pups are doing well...and have had lot's of visitors...and potential owners:) Life is definately good right now...and I could'nt ask for more:)

Equine Withdrawals

2006-09-02T18:38:00.000-07:00

'There's nothing so good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse.' - Ronald Reagan

I am having horse withdrawals. I miss waking up early and being greeted by soft nickers. I miss seeing their silhouttes, as they wait patiently for breakfast. I miss the loud sound of thunder as calvin (Belgian), big grace (Clydsdale), and peter (clydsdale x) would race me up the hill to be fed. I miss Brie's sweet gaze, I miss Ace leaning his head on my shoulder...ouch! I miss Branco dumping over the wheelbarrow full of manur, that I just broke a sweat picking up! And last, but not least...I miss smart ass Benson, kicking me in the back of my leg while being walked...oh, and biting me, and throwing me off...little brat!

This list could go on forever...I havn't nearly named them all:( Oh, and of course, Jonas...the sweetest most loyal horse you'll ever meet:)

'If God had intended man to walk, he would have given him four legs. Instead, he gave him two - one to put on either side of a horse. '
- Montana Rancher

Eschatology what??

2006-08-28T18:29:00.000-07:00

I am sure that everyone has heard the saying "you learn something new everyday." Well, never in my life has this phrase applied so perfectly, as now. Only this time the "something new" is so deep, and so life changing, that it makes all other previous things learned seem mundane.

I just joined a group that studies Eschatology, the study of the end times. At first I was extremely against studying something that I thought would put fear into my life. I figured it just wasn't a subject that I wanted to spend time on, considering we are in the last days...just knowing is obvious enough, right? Most definately not. Though I only spent two hours so far, studying this topic, I am intrigued. It's like I have tasted something so indescribably good, that I can't wait to taste more. It is confusing, and thought provoking, sobering and exciting.

In the few hours since the class, my mind is reeling. I have been faced more than ever before, with how much I lack in Jesus. Though it sounds discouraging, my heart has never felt more alive! I want to fully engage my heart and mind and spirit. I want revelation.

Even in my weekness, He still loves me. God is awesome:)

Deployment

2006-08-26T18:37:00.000-07:00

So, I just found out a few days ago that my brother, Andrew, is being deployed to Bahrain, Iraq. He leaves December 15th. I guess I'm not really sure what to do with this news. I am feeling a whole range of emotion, from fear and sadness to excitment and pride. Though I definately feel the fear and sadness a whole lot stronger. Anyways, it's out of my control...all I can do is pray:| Whoever reads this blog, please, do the same...keep my brother in your prayers.

Thanks

The show me state

2006-08-18T18:27:00.000-07:00

Here I am in a new place once again. Obviously moving suits me or I wouldn't do it so much:) New people, new places, new experiences...what could be better?

I left early monday (08/14/06) for my new life in Kansas City, Missouri. I drove my awesome Jeep, loaded down with everythig I own, to head to a place I pretty much know nothing about. The drive was amazing...except for Nevada...well, actually, I liked the Vegas part..hehe. Utah and Colorado were by far my favorite parts, especially getting to see Vail and Breckenridge...amazing!! I drove through places that had some of the best mountain biking terrain ever!! I soo wanted to stop and ride, but my goal was to get here:) I finally arrived on Wednesday afternoon, my house is suuper awesome, and I couldn't ask for better roomates:)

I absolutely love the area I live in, it's beautiful. I can't wait to get out and hike, bike or do any sort of outdoor acivity! The house I live is one story, but with a basement that is furnished like a sitting room, and a loft, which is my room. So, to me it's kinda like a three story house. There are three other bedrooms in addition. My room looks out over the backyard, which backs up to a few acres of forest, love the view!!

So, I have officially been here for two days, and can't wait to see what is in store for me...whatever it is, i know it will be great...as long as my focus remains on the Lord, and His plan for my life...I couldn't be in a better spot.

My Yukon

2006-08-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

So, almost two months ago now, I came to the tough decision that I had to find a home for my dog:( This has been a really tough time for me...though on the outside, I'm sure no one knows it. I just thought I'd share some things from our time together:)

I rescued Yukon from the pound about seven years ago. I had just lost my first dog, (keesha) to kidney failure and was grieving that loss. I couldn't imagine coming home everyday to an empty yard, or look at the empty spot beside my bed. I decided to go down to the shelter just to look around. When I got there, I saw Yukon. She was in a cage with 6 other dogs, she was laying on the ground, barely able to move. All the other dogs were jumping on her, eager for attention from anyone walking by. Her eyes were dull, and she was emaciated. I remember thinking, "this dog is dieing...and no one is doing anything about it??" My heart went out to her, and I knew I couldn't leave without her. I filled out all the paperwork, and was told to come back the next day to pick her up.

The next day I came to pick Yukon up, she was so weak she could barely walk, and on top of being sick, she had just endured a spay. We carried her to the car, and an attendent there informed us that if she were to die, we were to bring back the body and they would issue me a credit towards another dog. That made my stomach turn. We got Yukon home, and she just laid in her bed, she wouldnt eat or drink. We took her to the emergency room as she had continuously gotten weaker with each passing day. After some fluid therapy and a bit of medication we took her home. For the next few weeks, I fed her gerber baby food through a syringe, and some pedialite every two hours. As time went on, she gained strenght. I woke up one morning to Yukon digging holes in the yard and tearing up all her toys, thats when I knew she'd be ok:)

Since that lovely morning when I awoke to her distruction...she has not changed. She has been a true terror...and a delight all at the same time. I have never dealt with a more stubborn, obnoxious, quirky, off the wall energy dog in all my life! I have also never laughed so much, and had soo much fun. She is really the reason that I became so active in the outdoors. We hiked, biked, camped and best of all, kayaked together...she was a super kayaking companion. She was a great road trip companion, and moving companion. She steered me and my brother clear of mountain lions many a time...and has had to be our eyes in the dark when we were stupid enough to forget flashlights on a long hike. I have lots of pictures and great memories of us together:) I miss her dearly, and still can't believe I will never get to experience all those things with her again:( I know reality will eventually set in. But for now, it trickles in here and there, followed by a wave of sorrow, loss and dissapointment with myself. Dissapointment for not being her forever home and not being the one that could always provide the life she needed and deserved.

She has found a home now...a home with a loving family....and kid's to play with!I'm sure she is on cloud 9!! She deserves the best, and she finally has it:) I owe her alot...she will always be in my heart and on my mind...My Yukon.

Surrender

2006-01-29T18:22:00.000-08:00

I try so hard to control things in my life that, in reality, I have no control over. I put so much thought into what I can say, or things I can do to make life go the way I want it...or to fix the things/relationships I have broken. In the end, I wind up being stressed, and frustrated at the way things turn out. I feel like a fish swimming upstream, trying with all my might to get to that place of satisfaction. I think, "man, if I could just make this situation go right, then everything would be perfect." However, no matter how hard I try, I fail.

This is when I realize I need to surrender...I need to release control, and let the Lord take care of me. He has a plan, and it does not include me taking the drivers wheel. It means sitting in the passangers seat, and trusting that the wild ride ahead of me, no matter how scarry...has a happy ending.

I know this is what I am supposed to do...but knowing is alot easier than doing. Reguardless, I will choose to trust Him. I will expect Him to work in my life, rather than wonder if He is.

God's promise to me: "I promise you that no matter what, I have you, and you will be ok."

My motto for this week: "Let go and let God."

War

2006-01-03T18:32:00.000-08:00

I recieved an email today...it showed a picture of a soldier that had lost a hand, a leg and any eye while trying to disarm a bomb in Iraq. This email is not out of the ordinary, it is not the first article, nor will it be the last I recieve about the reality and face of war. However, today it struck a different chord in my heart.
Often most of us go through our lives, day in day out, with a set routine. We wake up, eat, go to work, come home, eat...maybe, if were feeling guilty..go to the gym...or choose to ignore it for just one more day and just work out the remote instead. Go to bed...sleep...wake up, and start all over again. Exciting huh! I can attest to this routine, and sometimes just to stir things up, i even consider opening my bible or maybe spending some time in prayer. But, as i'm too "tired" to complicate my night with God...I shove that idea into the deepest corner of my mind and decide I will definatly dedicate time tomorrow. I work so hard on being honest with those around me...yet I lie to myself.
I recently started reading a book by John Eldridge called "Waking the Dead," The glory of a heart fully alive. In the two chapters I have read, there has been a stirring of my heart to face the reality that surrounds me, and to stop pretending or hiding from the truth and the world that surrounds me. In the book Eldridge talks about
"the heart being the center of human life..." and the fact that somehow, we have lost this truth.
***unfinished***will continue later***************************

Busy

2006-01-02T18:32:00.000-08:00

I run around every day trying to comlete my various tasks in the few hours provided me. Though I squeeze in as much as possible and get as much done as I can, at the end of the day- as I finally crawl into bed I use whatever energy I have left to whisper a prayer and doze off. In the midst of all my busy- ness, I seem to "forget" to open up the Bible, even if just for a moment, to read an encouraging word. I blame it on my lack of time- it coudn't possibly be that I am placing other importances if front of studying the word.
Finally the moment comes when I have free time. A time to catch up on whats needed. The first thing I think of is opening up my bible and spending time with my father. However, it seems to be the last thing I do. Isn't it funny how I am presented with the oportunity to study and pray, yet all I can think of is "what else can i get done first?" Who can I call- I suddenly feel like I need to pick up my phone and call a friend, "who can I hang out with today, where can we go." I now feel like I don't have enough to fill my day- now I WANt to be busy.
I am only cheating myself when I conveniently choose to be too busy to spend time with the Lord. At what point do I fall to my knees and cry out to the Lord for the replenishment I need. A friend encouraged me the other day with this verse; "draw near to God, and He will draw near to you..." How quickly I forget the importance of slowing down every day, no matter what- and spending time with my creator. I am so greatful that He is a loving, forgiving father- He is willing to hel p us through our weaknesses, and still love us through it all.

Passion

2006-01-01T18:35:00.000-08:00

Passion: "the spiritual life on caffeine," (relevant magazine march/april). I have decided that it is this small, but powerful seven letter word that is missing from my life...not only am i lacking this in my everyday life, but even more importantly in my walk with the Lord. The fire that once consumed my spirit has all but gone out. I try to fuel the few embers that still remain, but it seems like a lost cause.
"Church-ianity" (or christian culture) is when we get bored with God, and our life with Him is no longer a dynamic and living but only a passed-down thing, like a dirty rag or cryptic relic. It's our limited vision. It's our busyness with the unessential." How do I become this? Bored with God? I know all that is true, I have story upon story to testify the things He has done in my life, and every reason to show zeal for that. At what point do i become lax and lose that spiritual high?
The only reason I am here today is because of Jesus in my life- yet there are days that go by where I fail to acknowledge His existance. Why is it such a struggle? A struggle to spend time with my father, the only one who loves me without fail so unconditionally. All i can do is ask forgiveness and move forward, I will not dwell in my shortcomings or setbacks but rather use them as stepping stones to become the woman God has called me to be. Amen!

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11